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EXPANDED UNIVERSE: BEYOND THE SAGA
References may be incomplete, misfiled, out of order or simply wrong. I am not much for the EU and many of these come strictly by hearsay. Feel free to contact me to suggest new relevant information, correct a problem on these pages or tell me the average number of times "snap-hiss" appears per book.
THE GLOVE OF DARTH VADER
When Vader’s hand and lightsaber were flung far and wide after being chopped off, they somehow became encased in metal and survived the deadly blast of the exploding second Death Star. (Don’t ask, just smile and nod.)
The hand floated to Calamari (it's a trap!) along with lots of other space debris, where it all landed in the ocean.
Trioculus, a three-eyed evildoer, son of Palpatine and father of Palpatine’s grandson Ken (is this canon?!), found it. He remembered an old prophecy that he who had Darth Vader’s glove would become a mighty ruler. It was like the Excalibur of the Dark Side.
So Trioculus attempted to retake the throne of Palpatine…
… failed miserably. The glove was apparently not magical at all, just a stinky old glove.
The whereabouts of the glove after Trioculus’ failed coup are unknown. So are the reasons of why this book is so terrible. It even violates continuity by messing with the dates of Han and Leia’s marriage. *sigh* Oh those wacky ‘70s books…
THRAWN TRILOGY
Those of you paying attention during The Empire Strikes Back, and not just arguing over what color Yoda's tongue might be, will recall that Luke lost his hand at Cloud City.
In Heir to the Empire, Vader decides to look for the hand as a souvenir to put over his fireplace next to his ship-in-a-bottle collection. He finds it in Smelting Core D, where an Ugnaught named Groggin is examining it.
(This, as you may note below, takes place at a point in this Webmaster's life before he learned to use Photoshop.)
Vader slays the Ugnaught violently (no word as to whether any hands were lost) and takes the hand and lightsaber home. It becomes specimen B-2332-54.
Much later, the mad Jedi renegade Joruus C’Baoth takes the hand and lightsaber and brings it to the Spaarti cloning facilities, making a clone called (get ready for this) Luuke Skywalker.
It’s the same as Luke Skywalker but with an extra U.
Let’s say it together: “Loooooooooooooooke Skywalker”.
Luuke chases after Luke (with lightsaber) to kill him. Mara Jade kills Luuke (not Luke but Luuke). That’s about it.
As noted elsewhere on this sad excuse for a coherent Web site, I am told that in some other book in this here Thrawn trilogy, Dark Force Rising, it says that Palpatine chops off Vader’s hand as punishment for letting Luke blow up the Death Star. I wish that all this had something to do with Mal’ary’ush, because that’s a cool word to say. It sounds like ‘malaria’.
X-WING
In Book 3, The Krytos Trap (I am told—it is against my religion to read books with ‘Krytos’ in the title), Corran Horn chops off some people’s hands. I was not told which. Clearly someone wishes me to violate my strict Akrytonian code. My God. Or, should I say, my Great Magnafoosh the Illustrious.
Corran Horn is apparently a busy little bee, for in chapter 13 of Book 4, The Bacta War, he chops off a stormtrooper’s hand. Doesn’t that armor defend against anything?
I wish I owned an X-wing. I’d put wheels on it and drive it around town and take up, like, six lanes.
DARK EMPIRE
The hand-chop in this work is only in the radio drama. I didn’t know they still made radio dramas. Wow.
Palpatine’s brought himself back to life somehow and starts raising a ruckus. Luke and Leia end up fighting him. Lightsaber wackiness ensues.
Luke’s dueling Palpatine, and then… and I quote this exactly and without error from the transcript I’m reading…
“NNAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!! MY HANDD!!! YOU’VE CUT OFF MY HANNNDDDD!!!!!!”
Palpatine seems upset, doesn’t he? I’m not going into the rest of this stuff. You want radio drama, make an angry call to the liberals at NPR.
YOUNG JEDI KNIGHTS
In the aptly named Lightsabers book of this jolly series, we learn of the importance of proper lightsaber construction from a chick named Tenel Ka. Yeah, seems that she didn’t build hers properly, being hasty and all, so when she’s in a training duel at the Jedi Academy with Jacen Solo, it turns off abruptly and he accidentally slices her arm off.
You know, nowadays there are waivers about this kind of thing at schools.
She refuses to get a synthetic arm for a while. Then Jaina finally convinces her to get a cloned arm. Man, I’d love to discuss arm issues with people. Better conversation than I usually get.
JEDI ACADEMY
Somewhere in the plot of his video game, I am told, the Padawan Rosh Penin has a run-in with one of the Disciplines of Ragnos named Alora. Alora chops off Penin’s arm. But don’t worry, boys and girls, they grow it back.
You know what video game I miss? Mega Man.
LEGACY
This is a comic series that takes place a hundred and forty years after the Battle of Yavin, and yet this gimmick is still going on.
In Volume One, Kol and Cade Skywalker and Master Sazen are battling a crapload of Sith and stormtroopers. Cade chops off a stormtrooper's arm, which seems fair I suppose.
Then a Sith Lord called Nihl (it's supposed to sound like Nil I guess, which isn't exactly frightening, unless you really have problems with nihilism) gets into a big climactic fight with Master Sazen (say that name really fast and it sounds dirty). Nihl chops off Sazen's arm.
Eventually Cade uses the Force to very conveniently bring Sazen back to life, presumably because they need him to deliver exposition later on. Sazen never ends up fixing his arm, probably because he figures it'll just get chopped off again what with all these darn Sith around. Pragmatism, people.